la vie est belle

beautiful things

2011-08-27T19:12:00.000-07:00

all this pain
i wonder if i'll ever find my way
i wonder if my life could really change at all

all this earth
could all that is lost ever be found
could a garden come up from this ground at all

you make beautiful things
you make beautiful things out of the dust
you make beautiful things
you make beautiful things out of us

all around
hope is springing up from this old ground
out of chaos life is being found in you

you make beautiful things
you make beautiful things out of the dust
you make beautiful things
you make beautiful things out of us

you make beautiful things
you make beautiful things out of the dust
you make beautiful things
you make beautiful things out of us

you make me new
you are making me new
you make me new
you are making me new

you make beautiful things
you make beautiful things of the dust
you make beautiful things
you make beautiful things out of us

we were meant to live for so much more

2011-07-21T01:23:00.000-07:00

How do you go back to a life that once was? How can everything you've ever known change in one instant, one moment in time? Well, do you believe in coincidence? Or do you believe in circumstance, do you believe that everything happens for a reason? From the people you've met and will meet, to the places you go, and even the smallest happenings in our day to day lives. I can't tell you what to believe, but I do know that my life has been changed forever, and not because of coincidence.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about Haiti, about my friends, about my second family hundreds of miles away. Not a day goes by that I don't see those familiar faces in my mind, feel that warmth on my skin, not from the sun, but from love. I wish I could put into words how being there makes me feel, but the truth is, it's indescribable. It's that feeling that yes, this is where I belong. Yes, this is why I was put here on this earth. Some people may think I'm crazy, but who are they to judge? Because truly, no one understands. What's the point? There are millions living in despair. What can I, one individual with really no significance in this world do? No, I can't physically rebuild the country. No, I can't reconstruct the beautiful palace that once stood proudly at the heart of the nation. I can't even meet everyone's physical needs. But what I can do is far greater. I can mend their broken hearts, I can instill in them a newfound hope, and I can render in them the faith that all things are possible. But most importantly of all, I can give them love, because that is what this life is all about.

Life is not meant to be lived in fear. It is not meant to be lived in what-if's and could-have's. No, we are to live this life to the fullest. Because at the end of our short time here on earth, do you want to look back with regret? Or do you want to look back and know that you accomplished what you set out to do, what you were meant for? Because we all have a purpose. And whether or not you choose to believe it, you can and are meant to make a difference in this world. And maybe that difference is just one person's life, a difference that could change one person's life forever. Is that not enough? Success is not about the amount of money you make, the kind of car you drive, the size of your house. The definition of success is so skewed that we've forgotten what that title really means. But rather it's the mark you've left on this world. So yeah, maybe I am crazy...but I would take that crazy life if I knew that it meant something real any day. Forget what people think about you, forget what they'll say behind your back. Because at the end of the day, we're only here to impress one person. So rise up, and become the person you were born to be.

forgive yourself, love others

2011-03-03T23:22:00.000-08:00

Being in college is a lot different than high school. In high school, I was just a kid. And even though I'm not much older than I was a year ago, so much has changed. As an adult, I'm on my own, without any guidance, without anyone telling me what to do, without any rules. And although that may be the ultimate freedom in eyes of many, it is, in fact, a huge responsibility. A responsibility for your own own actions, for the decisions you choose to make. No one can really tell you what to do. No one can direct you. It's all up to you. And as I sit in my room on a Thursday night, a college Thursday night, alone, I begin to realize what this life is really all about.

I have made more mistakes that I can count and will continue to make them in this imperfect world. But there are some mistakes I have made that I cannot forget. There are some mistakes that even though I want to forgive myself for, I can't, because I feel like even God can't forgive me for them. It seems as if so many of my friends have managed to slip through the cracks while I have fallen flat on my face every time. It's like each time I stumble, I fall hard, I fall and I can't pick myself back up because I continue to fall time and time again. And each time, I felt as if I had lost the trust of my family. If my family could not trust me, then who could? Family. Family are the people who are by your side no matter what. They are those who pick you up when you can't get back up, and even when they know you're wrong, they're still there to support you because they love you. But without trust, I felt like there was not love. And without love, there is nothing. But sometimes we have to be broken. Because sometimes God pushes us to our limits because sometimes He has greater faith in us than we have in ourselves. God places us in these situations not always to punish us, but to teach us because he knows that we will get through it, that we will rise from our falls, that we can begin to shape our lives into the people we are to become.

And as I sit here, I think that yes, my friends have gone out without me. Or yes, I may miss something that happens to someone somewhere. But as I think about it, is it really worth it? I mean, am I really going to miss that much? So much has been on my mind lately, because I know that I am called to do so much more. I know that I have a greater purpose for my life. Sure, college ends. But so does this life. Life on earth is not eternal so we must use the little time we do have to make a difference. To make a difference in ourselves, in the people around us. To make a difference in the life of one purpose so that when we look back, we will have no regrets. We can look back on this life with fulfillment and know that we might have changed the world. That we might have shared our love with another. So even though I am alone, I do not feel not alone because I know that there is so much more to do, to discover, to change, to love. And even though I know I will make so many more mistakes, I know that I can at least try, I can grow from my faults, I can follow my passions, I can chase my dreams. I can be exactly the person I am meant to be.

'cause you knew you were finally free.

2010-12-02T15:11:00.000-08:00

"God doesn't give you the people you want. Instead, he gives you the people you need; to teach you, to hurt you, to love you, to make you laugh, to make you cry - to make you exactly the person you should be." - Anonymous

Sometimes it's hard to understand why some people come into our life. Sometimes it's hard understand why some people leave. And sometimes, it's even hard to understand why we are blessed with the people we are.

It's hard to understand why some things happen. It's hard to understand why sometimes life just isn't always fair; why people hurt us, leave us, break our hearts. Why is it that sometimes we have relationships with people that don't last? Why does it have to end with pain, with hurt? Why is it that sometimes the people we love the most, hurt us the most in return? The people we care about and pour our hearts into. The people who know our deepest secrets. The people that know what makes us laugh, what makes us cry. The people that know how to put a smile on our face. The people we want to talk to before anyone else. The people we get excited to see. And then, like that, it's over. It's like our hearts are ripped into a million pieces, but some of those pieces will never find their place again. Like a part of us is gone. We gave so much, and never got anything in return. And it seems like we are the only ones that end up hurt. We are the only ones who suffer. We are the only ones who have to deal with the emotion. It's not fair, but then again, sometimes we are supposed to feel sadness. We are supposed to experience pain. We are supposed to experience hurt. And it is not the end of the world. It is not the end of happiness. It is simply an experience, an experience that teaches us. It is these experiences that make us stronger, that give us courage, that give us strength. That gives us the ability to move forward. These are the experiences that teach us to hope. To hope for something that we cannot see, but to hope for something we know is there, that we know is to come. It is in these times that teach us to have faith, not only in ourselves, but in others, in the others that still love us, the ones we still trust, the one we are so blessed to have. To have faith that there is something better out there. Something that is meant to be. In the end, it is the past. What happens, happens. What is done, is done. Nothing can be changed. We can only move forward. And in the end, you realize it was something you didn't need, something you are better off without. It was just something holding you back from being the person you are meant to become.

"...but you shed not a single tear for the things that you didn't need, 'cause you knew you were finally free." - Death Cab For Cutie

the faith to move mountains.

2010-09-13T15:18:00.001-07:00

"Give all of us the strength to remember that life is so very fragile. We are all vulnerable, and we will all, at some point in our lives, fall. We will all fall. We must carry this is our hearts, that what we have is special, that is can be taken from us. And when it is taken from us, we will be tested. We will be tested to our very souls. We will now all be tested. It is these times, it is this pain, that allows us to look inside ourselves." Friday Night Lights

We will not walk this life without stumbling. We will not walk this life in perfection. Perfection does not exist in a material world. We will all make mistakes. Mistake after mistake after mistake. And no matter how hard we try, we will not escape this. It is in our nature. It is human nature. Even when we know what we're doing is wrong, we do it. Maybe because it gives us some satisfaction in the moment, maybe because we are hurt, maybe because we just want to forget about reality. But is it really worth it? Is it really worth it in the end? Because sometimes we have to face the consequences. Are more often than not, the consequences are not light. It is something that will lay on our hearts. It is something that we will carry with us, no matter how hard we try to forget. We think, this won't happen to me...this could never happen to me. We think that we are invincible. But we are not. Sometimes we get away with it, but at some point, somewhere down the road, we will fall. We will fall hard. Yes, sometimes people will be there to pick us up. Sometimes the ones we love will be by our side. But for how long? For how long will they stick around, waiting for you to mess up again? Sometimes, it's not so easy to get back up. When we are alone, when we have no one by our side, when we have lost the trust of others, it's hard. It's hard to regain that strength, it's hard when we are so vulnerable. The weight on our shoulders is fighting back. The voice inside us telling us we can't do it, telling us we can't change is so strong. It's always there. It's always calling our name. But, it is in these times that we must look inside ourselves. It is in these times that we must remember what we are made of, who we are. In each of us, there is strength, there is hope. Yeah, we're going to do things we regret again. Yeah, we may get that slap in the face, that reality check we need. But we must make mistakes in order to learn, in order to realize that that path we are walking down is going in the wrong direction. In order to realize where we are headed, our future, our dreams. Things may happen that pull you back, but it will not stop you. It's just a bump in the road we must overcome. We must have faith in ourselves that we can overcome anything, no matter the pain it causes, no matter the hurt it creates. We must have faith that the grass is greener on the other side. It is when we have this faith that we will be healed, we will be made new, we will be walking in the direction of our dreams.

faith in change.

2010-08-24T15:43:00.000-07:00

Change. Change occurs every day. But it is not everyday that one packs up all of her belongings and leaves home, leaving behind family, friends, the ones she grew to love and trust. And all of a sudden, she is thrown into a new world, and a new culture with new surroundings. She is thrown into a world of the unknown. This is her new life, but is she ready? She is so used to the familiar, to what she has grown up with for the first eighteen years of her life. And now, it’s like that life has been erased and it’s time to start anew. It’s time to start something she has never seen, never experienced before. And it is no surprise that it is a journey of emotion. She has only begun this journey, and yet she has experienced it all: happiness, loneliness, anticipation, anxiety, excitement, homesickness. But, most importantly, she has experienced joy, and joy is essential in every aspect of life. She knows this is where she is meant to be, and although it may be hard adjusting to it all, adjusting to everything that’s different than what she knew, she knows that this is part of her plan, her purpose in life.

It’s weird, the concept of making new friends. I’ve grown up with the same people for as long as I can remember. Of course, there was Junior High. The most awkward two years of my life so far, when everyone is just kind of friends with everyone. Although I hated being in the run-down old building, having to wear ugly, uncomfortable gym uniforms, and, of course, taking sex ed. with Coach Summerville, I wouldn’t give up going to school with two new sets of classmates from different elementaries, who I would spend six years with. But, Junior High was different. It is not exactly comparable to making friends in college. We are no longer in that stage of awkward body transformations, the brace-face age, or the segregation between boys and girls. I am an adult, and as hard as that is to believe, it’s time to make friends on my own. There isn’t going to be anyone to hold my hand along the way. It’s just like diving in, head first, and having faith that I will make it through this. The faith that there are special friends, special relationships picked out just for me, much like how I was led to Alabama. Nothing is coincidental. Everything happens for a reason and I am ready to see and discover the reason I am at Alabama.

incredible.

2010-07-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

Incredible. One word to describe missions. One word to describe the light in the darkness. One word to describe my fellow (graduated) classmate and friend. Just recently, I briefly talked to Alyssa Dockery, founder of Unified for UNIFAT at our high school. Not only did she start the organization at Mariemont, but she also traveled to Uganda earlier this summer. I was and am amazed by the photos she posted, only a few of many she took. Although Africa and Haiti are in completely different parts of the globe, she understands exactly how it feels to return to the States, to return to this material world. I can't explain how exciting it is to have someone to relate with. I can't wait to hear more about her adventures she has already experienced and those that are to come. To read more on what she is doing, check out her blog: http://issylyss.wordpress.com/

It hasn't even been a week, and I already want to go back. I feel so lost here at home and it's almost impossibe to explain. My mom, who also was in Haiti with me in June, knows exactly how I feel. It seems she may be the only one. But I couldn't be more thankful that I shared the experience with her. Sometimes we get so caught up in our busy lives of stress and chaos that I forget how similar we truly are. Of course, we fight. Who doesn't? But it is something special that we share and something that really cannot be replaced. That is what I really love the most. And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

love always remains.

2010-07-08T14:42:00.001-07:00

Sometimes it’s hard for me to understand why some things happen in life. But I know that everything happens for a reason. I know that three years ago, as I sat in one of hundreds of church services I’ve attended throughout the years of my childhood, something tugged at my heart. Something moved in me that none of my family seemed to feel. I know that I earned that money, that I got on that flight, that I took that first trip to Haiti for a reason. How it has changed my life is unreal and almost impossible to explain. It’s indescribable. And each time, it’s harder to come back. Actually, it’s impossible to come back unchanged. Reality is not this material world in which I live, where everyone is given anything they could possibly want, where dreams are within arm’s reach. No, reality is the rest of the world. Reality is the world that millions face every day, a reality in which millions face hunger, homelessness, prostitution, unplanned pregnancy, abuse, murder: evil. The world is not a perfect place. The world will never be a perfect place. But that does not mean that I cannot try, that we cannot try. There is still hope. There is hope for the hopeless, light for the blind, food for the hungry, drink for the thirsty, healing for the sick. Perhaps I cannot fix everyone’s physical problems. Maybe I can’t really heal anyone’s physical problems. But that is not what this life is about. Life is so short to be wasted on myself. It is too short to be wasted on anyone but those who are lost, those who need to be served. It is true, sometimes I too need help, but that is not my job. It is my job to bring love to those who have none, to be a friend, a sister. It is my job to love because love is unconditional. Love is irreplaceable. To be loved is the greatest gift of all. Without love, I have nothing. I am nothing. All I need is love. And that is really what we are all searching for. It will fill all of our deepest needs. It will bring hope to the hopeless, it will bring light to the blind, it will feed the hungry, it will hydrate the thirsty, it will heal the sick. Of faith, hope, and love, love is the greatest. It is the greatest of all. Love is meant to save, it is meant to fulfill. It is meant to heal. It is meant to mend. This is what I have learned. This is what I had to discover in a world so poor, in a country that has nothing, and still goes unnoticed. I was blind in a world of everything. I guess all it took was one look at the world of nothing: one trip down the street, one meal at dinner, one day at the mission. All it took was one week, and since then, my life has never been the same. As I think about my trips, as I think about the time I have spent in Haiti, it feels more and more like home to me. And each time I leave, I leave a piece of my heart behind, a piece of me behind. And each time I leave, I leave my family behind because even though I’m not truly home, it feels like home because of the people I love and the people that love me. It’s not where you are, it’s who you’re with. Home is where the heart is, and the heart is with family. My friend asked me last night if it was a drag to be home. And I honestly answered, yes. It’s just not the same. In Haiti, there is no hot water, no air conditioning, no dishwasher, no laundry machine or dryer, no electricity, no road laws. There is unbearable heat, mosquitoes, cockroaches, dirt, dust, pink eye, burning trash. And of course, there is a lot of chicken and rice. But as I lay in bed, lying on top of wet sheets as the fan blows hot air into my face, I realize there is no other place I’d rather be. Actually, I know there is no other place I would rather be. I love everything about it and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Ever. Because I wake up every morning to the sun, I wake up every morning to a new day full of hope and life. I wake up and know that maybe I can touch someone’s life. I know that there is appreciation. I know that there is a light in the darkness. I know that there is love. And love always remains.

i'll always be with you

2010-05-17T22:02:00.000-07:00

"If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you." - Christopher Robin

Tomorrow is my last day of high school. The last day before I start the next journey in my life, before the next chapter of my book is written. Tomorrow is the last day I will ever attend school with my best friends, some of whom I've known for thirteen years. It is the last day I will ever attend school with my brother. It is the last day to really be a kid. I've been waiting for this day for so long, and now that it's here, I'm not sure I'm ready for it all to be over. It has come so quickly that I haven't had time to really stop and think about the memories I've formed between kindergarten and senior year. I haven't really had time to appreciate each and every one of my friends who has been there with me through the ups and downs. And after graduation, I may, in fact, never see some of my high school classmates again. As each of my friends are heading in a different direction, heading to a differet college, heading to a different region of the country, I know that they will always be with me. Even if we are hours apart, the friedships, the laughs, the tears, the memories, everything that we have overcome together will be carried on. It is hard to believe that those friends who have become more like brothers and sisters won't be with me every step of the way next year. They may not always be there when I need a shoulder to lean on or a hand to guide me. They aren't going to be just a five minute drive away. But there will always be a place for them in my heart.

Although it is scary to be going so far away, it is important to rememeber that you are brave; you are strong; you are smart. There is nothing, no one that can stand in the way of your dreams. There is no one that can stand in the way of your plans. And although you may not know anyone, always know that you are not alone. There may be times when you are lonely, when you need that comfort that you have known for so long. But, that does not mean that you have been forgotten. That does not mean that you have been abandoned. The love that you have developed will be with you forever. Know that you will always have those with you that are close to your heart. Even though that friend may be nine hours away, he will be with you. He will be with you, encouraging you, guilding you, leading you in the direction you are meant to go. You will succeed, you will thrive, you will shine. There is no doubt in my mind that you can do anything you set your mind to. Anything is possible with courage. Anything is possible with wisdom. And anything is posible with strength. All things are possible through faith and the faith that you will not be alone is enough to get you through your next big adventure.

follow your heart

2010-03-15T18:52:00.001-07:00

Why does it seem that sometimes we are expected to achieve,to do, to succeed at something we were not born to do? Why do we let others define our paths, our futures? Maybe you have dreams, goals for yourself. Why not reach for the stars, because what you never try will always be a mystery. What you never try will always be lingering in the back of your mind and you will regret missing out on what you could have had. Don't let the opinions, the expectations of others guide you; let your heart guide you.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt once stated, "The only thing to fear is fear itself." Outsiders will throw fear in your face. People may judge you, may try and drive you away from what you feel called to do. They will doubt and discourage. They will do whatever they feel will bring you down. But your heart is fearless. You have something that they don't. You have strength from within that even the toughest of obstacles can't destroy. There is nothing, no challenge, no hurdle that you can't overcome.

I am so blessed to know such an incredible, amazing individual, someone who is not only a genuine friend, but a sister. Someone whom I seek advice from; someone who knows me from the inside out, who knows the meaning of love, hope, and faith. But what I most admire about her is her strength, the strength to go against the grain. She is about to embark on a new chapter in her life, slowly putting together the pieces of the puzzle, ready to pave a path for her future, but not necessarily the future other expect of her. Raised in a small, confining neighborhood, she is simply an upper-class, white girl stuck in a world where everyone is expected to be the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the perfect son. She is trapped in this pace where people tell you who you are to become, where people decide for you your future. She does not want to become just anyone. Instead, she wants to teach, she wants to help, to challenge, to better the lives of children. But, she does not want to teach just anywhere. She wants to teach in the inner city; she wants to be a part of Teach for America. Where? She does not yet know. She only knows that she will be guided by her heart. And people tell her she can't do it? People look at her with confusion and doubt. Whose place is it to tell her she can't? That answer is simple - no one. I cannot be thankful enough to have such a friend in my life. She has been with me through the bad and the good, the ups and the downs. Never has she judged me, but always accepted me. She always has her head held high and doesn't let others define her. She is courageous and determined. She is amazing. She follows her heart.

No one can tell you what you can't do. You want to change the world? Go for it. No one can stop you. It is your heart that will guide you. Don't look back because if you do, you might change your mind and it could be too late. Remember, always follow your heart.

life is like a box of chocolates

2010-02-25T16:49:00.001-08:00

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
-Forrest Gump

Forrest Gump really couldn't have said it any better. Life really is like a box of chocolates. You never what what you're going to find when you look inside. And when you do, it's surprising, because you may find your favorites and, then again, you may find some chocolates that weren't really your first choice. But, you don't get to decide what comes in the box. You just have to wait and find out for yourself.

Life is unexpected in this sense. Each new day comes with new surprises, new opportunities, some good and some bad. You really never exactly know what to expect to come the next day, the next hour, or even the next minute. Of course, everyone makes their own decisions. But, with those decisions come consequences, and you don't get to choose the consequences. A lot of has happened in my life lately, both positive and negative. I wish I could simply erase the negative, but it doesn't really work that way. I have had a lot of hurdles thrown at me lately, some that are difficult to jump over. Somtimes I feel like I'm just dragging my feet, day to day, trying to get to the finish line. Some days, it seems like I'll never make it, like I could just easily give up in the last stretch. But, what's the point of giving up? Do we give up just because we are struggling? Do we give up just because it doesn't seem like life will ever get any better? Well, no. Giving up is a result of fear. Of course, I'm not always going to be courageous and you don't have to be either. You don't have to be brave all the time. Sometime, you have to let your fears, your worries show, because if you just keep it inside, no one will be able to help you. Those that love you will not be able to support you the way they are supposed to support you, love you. However, when it comes time to pull through that the last mile, that last lap, those last few yards, that it when it's time to be courageous. That is when it's time to hold on to what you have left. That's when it's time to have faith, time to hope, to know that you can do it. Because you will never have to face anything that you cannot overcome. You can conquer anthing, everything. Sometimes it feels like the weight of your problems is holding you back. Yes, it may be slowing you down, but that will not keep you from finishing. And once you cross the finish line, you know that you can do anything. You know that this is your moment. This is your life. And, while some things may be unexpected, know that whatever happens, you will get through it. But, life is not only about the pain. It is a time of rejoicing, of celebrating the amazing gifts that you have been given. Find joy, find happiness in the things you love. Find happiness in the people you love. Don't take for granted the what you have been given, because you never know what you're going to get. And you never know how long it will last. Don't waste time wondering about the unexpected, but enjoy the unexpected when it comes.

i love you, mom.

2010-01-27T06:46:00.001-08:00

Supporter, encourager. Someone who knows me from the inside out. Someone who always seems to know what’s on my mind. She knows what to say to make me smile, to laugh, to hope. She knows when something’s wrong, when I’ve been hurt. She knows when I’m happy, and she knows how to be my number one fan. She always has the perfect advice about anything, no matter what the situation is. She knows how to forgive and to forget my biggest mistakes that even I have a hard time forgiving myself for.

Of course, not every day we get along. Not every day is perfect, but that is beauty of it all. It is the hardships, the struggles, the obstacles that we conquer and the battles we fight that make us closer. She is a light to this world, exuding joy, compassion, understanding, and grace, something she has taught me. She is strength, courage, protection. She is comfort. She is love. She knows how to make the best day, to make the worst of days brighter. She is a listener, always willing to listen to anything and everything, no matter what it is. She is a shoulder to cry on and a hand to guide me. She is trusting and loyal. I know she will always be there for me, no matter where I go. I can’t imagine life without her because she is the best I know. She is my best friend. I love you, mom.

our deepest fear

2010-01-13T15:13:00.000-08:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

Each and every person has a gift to give to the world. Everyone has a purpose. Life is not meant to be wasted in fear; it is not be to wasted wondering "what if." There is not enough time to modest, hiding our talents, our gifts. What good is it to cover up our best qualities because we are afraid that someone else may not accept us, may bring us down. Or perhaps it's the other way around. Maybe it's that you don't want to discourage others because you are afraid to be prideful. But, the truth is, everyone has something to offer. Everyone has something to be proud of. No one is perfect. No one will ever be perfect. But, to be proud and to be helpful are different. There is a difference between boasting and giving to others what you have been given. It is about using those gifts to the fullest. You're not going to be good at everything. No one is good at everything. But, it is the people who target their own traits and use them to their best ability that are hope to this world. It's about pleasing the One who created you, who gave you life. It is about making Him proud. You, me, your neighbors next door, your classmates, your parents, your coach, your mentor, the stranger you pass on the street, everyone has a gift. Let that gift shine. Let yourself shine because this is your chance to leave an impression on the world. This is your chance to pave your future, to decide how you will be spending your life eternally. Be strong, be courageous, because you are special, you are unique, you are amazing. You can do whatever you set your mind to. You can imapact and influence. You can make a difference. You can change those around you, and those will change others around them. You can be a light in the darkness.

the aftermath of a bitter destruction

2010-01-12T16:14:00.000-08:00

Breaking News: Major Earthquake in Haiti.

The biggest earthquake to hit Port-au-Prince, the capital of the poorest country in the western hemisphere. A country, filled with depression, devastation, hunger, sadness, hopelessness, was struck by a natural disaster. A country with little to hold on to was shaken, shaken to the point that homes, hospitals, schools, and businesses collapsed and crumbled before the eyes of the Haitians. Many lost the only place they knew to call home. The small, one-room huts where they sleep, eat, escape from the evils of the oustide are flattened. There is nowhere to go, nowhere to stay. It is heartbreaking. Wails and cries fill the air. The effects are worse than a hurricane. Riots, hurricanes, and earthquakes have struck the helpless country of Haiti, but this could be the worse the it has seen.

Four children, under the age of eight, have lost all they have. They have never had much. I have never even seen a mother that looks after them. The small girl, a feeble grin painted across her face when I wave to her, hugs an infant in her arms. No more than a few feet tall, the little girl struggles to keep the baby lifted for her arms are bony twigs with little, if any, strength. The infant has no clothes on, like most babies in Haiti, and the boys sit atop the wall, waving to me as I sit on the porch. Their bleached white teeth beam in the sunlight because they know that someone cares about them, someone loves them. They don't get gifts from their parents at Christmas. No birthday presents either. But today, they lost their home. The wall that guarded and surrounded the shack they lived in fell to the ground. The wall that offered protection is gone. I thank God they are safe. Those precious children have nothing to call their own but each other. They will get through this. They are going to make it. The damage will most likely not be able to be fixed considering the condition the country is in. But I will continue to hope and to pray for a better tomorrow and a better future for the country of Haiti.

love never fails

2010-01-12T13:36:00.000-08:00

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it keeps no record of wrongs. Lovve does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Love is unconditional. It's accepting those who are not accepted, caring for those who are not cared for, believing in those who have no hope. Love is withstanding the challenges, jumping the hurdles. What is there if there is not love? It's simple. Nothing. Love is everything. A day without love is unimaginable. Without love, there is emptiness, loneliness, and hurt. But, it gives life purpose. Our greatest ommand is to love others. To whole-heartedly love those who are underserving because everyone makes mistakes. But, love is fulfilling. Love is happiness. Love is family, friends, the feeling that you're worth it. You will get hurt, you will experience pain, you will face failure; but love, love never fails. Love is forgiveness. Love is taking back what was lost. Love is powerful. Love is faithful. It is the greatest gift that we are given, and the greatest gift that we can give. Love is to enjoy the life given to you, to love every day because every day is a blessing. It is pouring your heart out to others, those who are "untouchable." Love is forgetting the past and moving forward, focusing on the future. Love always.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13:4-7&13

live like there's no tomorrow

2010-01-06T20:01:00.001-08:00

I've never really understood what it means to live like there's no tomorrow. I've never really understood that is, until now. I seem to live a pretty routine life, going to school five out of the seven days of the week, passing the same people in the hall after each class, basketball every day after school. Sometimes it's hard to wake up in the morning when the sun has yet to rise with the temperature below freezing and think that it's going to be a great day. And what does it matter if maybe you aren't in the best mood, greeting everyone you see with a smile, having the best attitude that you can? It's hard. It's hard when the day before didn't go like you planned; someone hurt you, you let someone down, you let yourself down. It's hard when it seems like school is all the consumes your life, every hour you spend awake during the day. But you move on. The day passes by, you get through the challenges that you had been dreading and a new day comes. That is the beauty of it all. The sun sets on the day, and the sun rises on a new day, a new opportunity. An opporunity to live life like there's no tomorrow.

And then you question yourself. Why today? Why not tomorrow? And it's simple. Because tomorrow will not always be there. Tomorrow on earth is not eternity. Each day passes by in the blink of an eye. Suddenly it's tomorrow and yesterday was wasted. Yesterday was wasted because you were too busy worrying about the troubles of the day before when so much is happening in the present. It has most recently hit me. Almost every day I am reminded that I am leaving soon. Every day it is brought up by someone or something. Every day, I realize more and more that the tomorrow with the people I am surrounded by will be gone; the people that I love. Friends who have grown to be more like sisters, brothers; a brother who has grown to be more of a friend. And although it is sad, it is important to cherish the time that I have. It's time to start living in the present, to stop worrying about the day before, to stop worrying about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. For now, it's time to start living like there is no tomorrow, to start living life to the fullest.

when one door closes, another door opens.

2010-01-01T11:27:00.000-08:00

January first. 2010. A new year, a new decade, a new beginning. A time of fresh starts and new dreams. A time to look back at the year before and hope that this year will be even better. It's amazing how quickly one year, 365 days passes. It seems like just yesterday that we were celebrating the coming of 2009. And now, I look back and realize how much really happened in one year. I faced some of the best and some of the worst decisions of my life so far. I have realized what is means to have a true friend, and in turn, what it means to be a true friend. I have met certain people who have impacted my life, both positively and negatively, making me the person I am now. I have realized how forgiving, loving, and accepting my parents are; and I know that they will always be on my side no matter what. I have grown in my faith. God gave me a reality check, a slap in the face, a wake-up call; and for that I am eternally grateful. I know that no matter how difficult a situation may be, He will get me through it. He continues to change my heart, my attitude, and my life. I can only imagine the great things in store for this year. 2010 will bring a lot of change as well, as it is the year that I graduate and begin a new chapter in my life. It will be the first time that I will be eight hours away from my home and my family. It will be the first time I am separated from my friends, some of whom I've had since kindergarten. It will be the first time I'm on my own, having to make new friends and make my own decisions. Each day, I grow more anxious, but more excited at the same time. I'm beginning to cherish the relationships that I do have because I know that I'm not always going to be living next door to my best friends. But, that doesn't mean that it has to end. I am so thankful for the life I've been given and each year I realize how truly blessed I am. I look forward to new year that will come with new challenges, new friends, new experiences, and in turn, new memories.

When one door closes, another door opens.

“sometimes it’s the smallest victory that gets us through the day.”

2009-12-31T11:04:00.000-08:00

It was my third Christmas in Haiti. It seems that Christmas only gets better as the years go by. Of course, some may think it’s crazy that my family spends one of the most anticipated holidays of the year in a third world country, the poorest country in the western hemisphere. But the experience is indescribable and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. And, as my dad said, it feels more like home each time. It’s true. Although I do sometimes miss waking up to an abundance of presents underneath the tree on the morning of the twenty-fifth, being in Haiti is like home to me and there is no place like home.

This past week, we did just about everything. We wrapped about two hundred presents, passed gifts out to one hundred school kids who otherwise would not have received anything, browsed store after store for extra odds and ends, shopped for food (because keeping the pantry full for twenty five people is a little tough), listened to Toby Keith, attended a wonderful church service on the new property with four hundred people, watched It’s a Wonderful Life, and, of course, watched the faces of twenty three Haitians light up as they opened their gifts, one of them twenty years old and receiving Christmas gifts for the first time in his life.
It’s hard to imagine what life would be like without a present to open on Christmas, without a meal to eat during the day, without clean clothes to wear, without shelter from the storm, without a bed to sleep in at night. But in Haiti, people do it every day. Beggars walk the streets, praying that they will make just enough money to buy food for that day. And it was one of these moments that really struck me.

Tom had taken my family to town on Monday, four days before Christmas, searching for last-minute gifts. Right when we got out of the truck, we were swarmed by three or four pitiful boys, hot from the sun, with their hands cupped out in front of us, speaking in Creole, which I could not understand, but I understood what they wanted. We sort of brushed them off to get into the store, but when I see that kind of poverty, it breaks my heart. After we had gotten what we needed, we left the store, and, of course, waiting outside in the parking lot were the same boys. As we got back into the KIA, they followed us over. We climbed up into the seats and as we shut the doors, they pressed their faces against the glass, two on each side of the car. Knowing he had extra money in his pockets, Dad got out four dollars. He rolled down the window and handed the bills to the boys as their faces lit up like they had just been given a hundred dollars. As we backed out and were ready to pull into the chaotic street, the boys ran into the street, stopping the traffic so we could cross the street to the other side. And Haitian traffic is not like it is in America; no laws, no speed limits, no lines, no signs. And people aren’t as gracious either. But even so, the boys threw themselves in front of those cars to let us through. With beaming smiles, they waved goodbye to us as we drove away and as they would remain there for the rest of the day, every day, to scrounge up whatever money they could. You don’t realize how blessed you really are until you see what other don’t have, until you see a child begging for money, until you see that someone is grateful for a dollar; just one dollar.

As I sat at home later that day watching my favorite show, Scrubs, JD said something that I will not forget. “Sometimes it’s the smallest victory that gets us through the day.” He was exactly right.

i can do anything

2009-12-10T16:26:00.000-08:00

Some days, it seems like life couldn't get any harder. You are feeling so down on yourself and you can't seem to pull yourself up. As hard as you try, it feels like someone is always there to knock you back down. Things happen, people betray you, criticize you, judge you. The discouragement can take its toll on your spirit. You want to be happy, you want to be positive, you want people to see you and think "what does she have that I don't?" But, there are those times when it seems like there is no hope left inside you.

I have been caught up in this lately, feeling burdened by such emotion. Maybe it's the cold, dark weather. Maybe it's the stress of school. Maybe it's the fact that my basketball team just can't seem to win. Whatever it may be, it is a little overwhelming. I feel like it's never going to end.

Ironically, I received a letter in the mail at the beginning of this week. Addressed to me but with no return address, I opened up the envelope, curious as to what I'd find. I found a small slip of paper. As I read it, I realized it was a letter of encouragement. The short note contained a quote that read...

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
Eleanor Roosevelt

Confused, I set the letter aside, not thinking much of it. But then again today, I received another anonymous letter, addressed the same and with no return address. Anxious, I opened it up and found a single quote.

"A hero is one who knows how to hang on one minute longer."
Norwegian proverb

But rather than just setting the letter aside this time, I thought about it. It occurred to me that there is something out there who cares, someone who knows that I can make it through even the low points in life. It's hard when you feel alone, like no one really understands what you are going through; but, everyone knows that it's like to feel sad. Everyone knows what it's like to have a bad week. No one is perfect, and no one has a perfect life. But, you can make it through whatever situation you are put in, and those situations only make you stronger. They make you realize how blessed you truly are and that is what is important. So, next time you are feeling down, upset, lonely, remember that there are people who care about you, people who support, people who will be there for you no matter what. And that is love.

the greatest gift

2009-11-29T10:10:00.000-08:00

Last night, one of my best friends called me, one of those friends that I can always count on no matter what. Sometimes we call each other just to rant about something that happened and we just need someone to listen to us. It was one of those moments. Ironically, I had been thinking about calling her, but it seemed that she had beat me to it. She then told me something that really struck me. She said that she had hardly seen anyone over the Thanksgiving break, and it seemed as if everyone was out of town. In fact, hardly anyone was out of town. We both laughed, wondering what we had been doing with our days off from school, and it occurred to me that I had been spending most of my time with my family.

Last night, my mom and I saw the movie Precious, and two nights before, both of my parents took me to see The Blind Side. Usually, I don't go out with my parents on the weekends during school because, quite honestly, I would rather spend the little time that I do have with my friends. But why? My mom, my dad, Henry, they are the ones that are always by my side. They are the ones that support me in everything I do. Who's going to be there in ten years when I need someone to turn to? It is so refreshing to spend time with those that love and encourage you. A family never betrays one another, but always forgives each other. They are the best of friends anyone could ask for. And sometimes, it is so easy to take for granted what I have been given. It is so easy to forget the greatest gift that I have been been blessed with. Because without my family, I would not be where I am now.

the impossible is nothing

2009-11-18T18:02:00.000-08:00

Why is it that some days, all we hear are discouraging words? It seems as if everything you say, everything you do, everything you believe in, is wrong. Why does it seem that even your friends feel the need to say one thing that will tear you down? You try to be positive, encouraging, uplifting, but the battle you are trying to win is a million to one. You want people to believe in you and support you; you want to be lifted up, you want to know that you can do anything. You want to know that you can be and do the unthinkable. And sometimes, even the ones that you thought would be there for you, let you down.

"He tears me down on every side till I am gone;
he uproots my hope like a tree."
Job 19:10

But anything is possible. Anything that you set your mind to, you can achieve. People will question you, doubt you, try and prove you wrong. But, the hope and faith that you have will only make you stronger. No one can tell you what you can't do; it is only you that limits yourself. It is not always easy to find strength even when you have been beaten down, but the little strength you do have left will build you up. Don't listen to the negativity because you are who you choose to be and no one else can define you; not your parents, not your friends, not even those who get under your skin. Don't ever let someone stand in the way of your dreams, because you can do things you never even imagined you could do. The impossible is nothing.

"...Everything is possible for him who believes."
Mark 9:23

john 15:13

2009-11-16T16:11:00.000-08:00

For my best friends.

The last year of high school. The last year to get everything in that you've always wanted to do. The last year to be a kid. The last year to be with the people you have grown up with, the people that you have fought with, the people you have cried with, the people you have laughed with.

Sometimes, it hits me. It hits me that the people I have grown to love and trust will soon be gone. Maybe halfway across the country, or maybe only a few hours away. Each person taking a separate path, creating a new life in a new direction. What will happen to that friendship that has been built upon years of memories? What will happen to that friend who is more like a sister or a brother? You don't want to leave them, you don't want to lose them.

But, people come and go in your life for a reason.

You don't meet the people you do because of coincidence. Not the friends, the teammates, the mentors, the teachers. Not the missionary from Haiti and his family. Not the blind, homeless man begging for money in downtown Cincinnati, or the old woman who thought you were her granddaughter in the nursing home. Not even the people that you will never even see again. Everyone you encounter comes into your life for a reason, leaving an impression that you will never forget. You may forget a name, but you won't forget the impact left on your heart.

But friends, friends are irreplaceable. Everything that a friend has ever done or said to you helps build and shape your life somehow. You experience the happiest moments in your life with friends, but you also experience the most painful. A friend is someone that you grow to trust to keep even your deepest secrets without ever second guessing them. A friendship is built upon faith. Faith that you will always be there for one another, no matter what happens. A true friend forgives even the unforgiveable mistakes. A true friend always accepts you, always supports you, always loves you. Of course, some friends are not always just a fifteen minute drive away. Friends go their separate ways in life, but even if they are 5,000 miles away, you will always carry them in your heart. You will always carry the memories, the laughs that you share. A friend helps discover who you are meant to be and what you are meant to become. And some friends, those very best of friends, are unforgettable, no matter where you end up because of the love you have for one another.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

life is beautiful

2009-11-15T12:25:00.000-08:00

La vie est belle.

Life is unexpected, surprising. Life is filled with joy, laughter, hope, and love. There is fear, sadness, anger, and hurt. Life is the journey of meeting new people, people that come and go, but that always leave an impression, an unforgettable life-changing impact that shapes our life. Life is about family and learning to trust one another. It is being able to forgive even the unforgivable. Life is about accepting and realizing that we cannot judge a book before we even read the story inside. It is about serving those around us, those who are both capable and incapable of serving themselves. Life is about loving, even when there seems to be no love left inside. It is about giving our all and never coming up short, even during the toughest of times. Life is about dreaming and achieving. It is about finding our purpose, discovering what we are really meant to do. Life is short. It is about making the most of our time here on earth. But ,it is not this life that is the most important. Life truly begins after death. It is who we become now that determines how we will live forever. Life is about making the best of every situation and investing time into those that we love and those that we can learn to love. It's a wonderful life. Don't waste a second of it.

Life is beautiful.

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."